I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
