How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
