i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize