I am in a vortex of obligation.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
