Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize