Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
