He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
