hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
