wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
