Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
