When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
