Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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