We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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