you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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