Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize