There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
