Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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