I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
