Someone shit on the floor
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
