that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
she told me i tasted like america
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
