My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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