it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We're too hungover to prance.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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