Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
