She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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