i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
