i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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