Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize