hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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