Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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