toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
