D3 body, D1 cock
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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