I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
