Small penises have feelings too.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
