Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
