She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we're so committed to being not committed
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