doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize