My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
