How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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