Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
