ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
