I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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