I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I have demons in me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Randomize
