I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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