she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
