tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
