I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
