And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
