literally had 100 drinks last night.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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