Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
