she was so not down for the gang bang
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
