Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
