you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
