Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
