Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
