the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
