That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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