I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
